Soccer Camp

      This past Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, Jerusalem Ministry (the ministry i'm serving at the children's home through) held its 5th annual soccer camp. There were about 47 children and 42 volunteers, and it was so beautiful and so wonderful and so amazing.. I think it was the turning point of my time here.. When I really started having the heart to come back and continue serving.. I think I saw what three days of loving can do to broken souls.. I saw the hope that comes through the active army of Christ. I saw what happens when God's people begin to let His love flow. I saw hardened, unengaged, angry, insecure boys open up and receive love and even begin to give love to their friends.. And they became the best ministers.. And I think watching that happen before my eyes allowed me to claim the visions of Jerusalem Ministry as my own. I have this deep desire to see the most broken people in the world.. the orphan.. the fatherless.. rise up in His love and become real givers. To see children with nothing.. children who have never been loved by this world become compassionate lovers of the world.. I saw these boys hold onto and love on each other and I was amazed at their strength. It's not easy to be selfless when you have so little. It makes people selfish and cold. It's not easy to hold onto that warmth. But I saw it so clearly those three days.. I think i saw God in them. Older boys took care of the younger ones. Friends stood up for friends.. Boys from 6 different homes came together and connected in deep deep ways.. When one of them made a goal, the team would run and pick that boy up and yell and they'd be so happy for one another. Some boys that have never met before the camp made such special connections with each other for reasons I can't know.. Our goalie, 민혁이 (the tallest boy), and our littlest one ,도형이, made that connection within minutes.. They started chasing each other around the field and they were always wrestling and hugging and piggy back riding. When we lost a championship game by one penalty shot, 도형 was so upset.. He couldn't even shake hands with the other team.. He wouldn't let any of us talk to him or touch him but 민혁 went over to him and put his arm around his small friend and spoke to him. 도형 found so much comfort in that. I don't know what he said to make him smile again but it worked. And 도형 was smiling again in seconds.. God.. I feel like I can't explain in a way that does justice to all of it.
      And boys are so funny.. I thought only girls liked hugging and holding hands and touching and cuddling.. But boys love it so much more.. These boys are longing for that touch.. And they love it. Especially from older boys.. Or men or whatever.. It makes me jealous.. Cathy knows.. One of our older boys, 순재, who's really good at soccer and who seemed a bit self centered began to favor this little one from a different home named 지성 who wasn't so good at soccer..I don't know why.. But he'd call for him over and over again and adore him.. Run over to him and hold his hand and hug him and want to carry him in his back.. And he'd help him when he was having a hard time.. He was in love with this little boy.. There was this small boy named 찬솔 who was extremely closed. I think he went through a lot of scarring at a young age.. He would cuss at other boys over nothing and just be very cold to the teachers. But he was such a good player.. And I would try to give him a high five whenever he made a goal or did something good but he'd walk past me and ignore me the first two days. but i kept offering my hand and by the third day, he would high five me and smile a bit.. Heh and our boy 더균.. He would not even tell me his name the first day.. He wouldn't smile.. But he was so handsome and so musheesuh and so secretly loving.. The coach made him captain and he couldn't keep his smile in.. We would encourage each of them after every day of play.. He'd start smiling so huge .. And we'd catch him taking care of the little ones and encouraging them.. And there was so much more.. I'll write more when I remember. There's too much..
     Every morning, Cathy and James and Stephanie and Dana and I would take our 11 boys on the train to the US army base for camp and back. And I fell so hard for these boys... Like I chased them around the camp and took hundreds of photos of them and i've looked through them every night 5 times.. Went onto Jerusalem ministry Facebook and saved all the pictures they took of our boys on my phone.. Yeah. It's serious.. For me.. Heh they don't even like me that much.. But each and every one of them are so so special.. I've watched them fight and cry and fall asleep and have conversations with one another and hug and 예뻐 each other.. We'd catch 동희, the biggest sixth grader, counting how many boys there are every time we got on and off the train or when they're taking a bathroom break.. I saw one of the twins standing up for 민재 in the pool.. And another twin squeezing a younger boy's cheeks cause he did something cute.. When we went swimming the last day, a boy came behind me and dunked me in the water.. 용성, the younger twin saw that and pulled the boy off of me and put him in a chokehold so I could splash him.. And he carried my backpack for me on the way back home because it was so hot out.. I am so in love, people.. Cathy and I adore them.. Every one of them.. I see so much potential in these boys.. To do such amazing things but I look at the older boys in the home and I worry. I sometimes hear about one of them running away and always see one of them getting in trouble in the office and I've smelled cigarettes on them when I pass by.. They're all so hard. And everyone lost hope in them.. It's a cycle. It's expected.. That these boys will end up just the same.. without a male role model.. without someone believing in them. Cathy and I were talking to an amazingwomanofGod dorm mom in her room a couple nights ago and this teacher was telling us that she used to be a dorm mom for the boys.. And she loved them and they loved her.. But when the office moved her up and she had to go, some of the boys made themselves forget about her and closed their hearts. Even to the point where they don't say hi to her anymore. They've become professionals at opening and closing and cutting off before they get hurt first.. She said,"They know how to do what they have to do." And they let themselves believe that these teachers don't really love them. That they're just doing their jobs and they're going to have to leave someday. And the older they get, the harder they get.. It breaks my heart.. After that talk, i stayed up for hours thinking and crying. They're too young to know heartbreak. But they know it better than i do. And sometimes the teachers are amazing and wonderful, but it's still just one woman caring for 11 boys.. They are still fatherless. They are still orphans. They need men to speak life into them. To show them how to become men. This system is still flawed.. And that really frustrates me. Because this place seems so good but it's still so so far from that. And I have to remind myself that only God can fill that void. Men of God, where you at!?!
     I've made up my mind. I'm going to come back. And I'm bringing my brother with me. (okay mommy daddy Joshua?) I refuse to let the devil bring these kids down. Jerusalem Ministry has received unbelievably amazing visions and many promises from God.. That it's the orphans in this land that are going to minister and bring healing to the thousands of orphans in North Korea when it opens up.. And I finally see how much power these kids have when they overcome and give love. How influential they're going to be and how easily they can break strongholds and how powerfully they're going to move nations.

These are some photos I took during the camp... I have so many more..

Stephanie and Dana

James and Cathy (hehe)

Within the first hour of the first day 

Brazil Team! 

The Oryu boys on Germany team 

도균

건우. one of my girls' younger brother. he is so so sweet.. 

cleaning up

도형 and 민혁! 

Brazil Team 

순재 and 지성

현준.. he liked drinking water out of my bottle with the cap.. heh

용성and Janine 

윤구 and 동희

민재.. he was so tired.. 

인혁 asleep 

buddies 현석 and 현준

용성 and 성현, loving on 현석

best friends.. but i've seen them fist fight before.. so scary.. but they seriously love each other.

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용석 and stranger on the train.. they're so tired on the way back home.. 

james and 경수... there are american soldiers that come every monday to oryu to play with the kids.. they treated all of us to dinner on base.. ordered 15 pizzas for 11 kids... 

so

happy

america...

they bought them a cake... 

cathy gina unni and i.. so attractive right?